Dreams Revisited

*written Once Upon a Time, shared here as a reminder that dreams are to be pursued*

Dreams, like sands in the hourglass, change in level, intensity, and pass through our lives with the passing of time. My dreams have been through their own passageways, caverns, hiding places, hallways, hidden caches - sometimes are open for all to see; sometimes hidden from even me.

Dreams of an 8 year old who envisions eternal days passed in companionship along the banks of the hydro - hand in hand, soul to soul, laugh to laugh - exploring life in its abundance. Dreams ended all to quickly. And the next dream is not so full, nor so heartfelt.

Tentatively dreams again begin to appear, but are never pursued wholeheartedly for fear they too will be yanked away. And the hurt will just increase . Pieces of my heart will be painfully torn away, leaving exposed jagged raw bits of flesh, bleeding. And finally the numbness - Blessed Numbness! - takes over, and the pain stops.

But so do the dreams. Until one day I realize I have no dreams. Only numbness.

And the numbness hurts more than the raw pain of heartbreak ever could.

But I’ve forgotten how to dream.

And I don’t know if I even want to. Because dreams come with unbearable pain sometimes. And I don’t know if I can take it.

And somewhere in the quiet of my spirit, I feel a half-remembered dream. 

It’s only a spark. 

But I know it’s there. 

And that dream, fully realized, will bring me back to the dreams of my youth.

Back to where my heart sings, my soul dances, and my spirit walks again along the banks of the hydro.

And I will dream.

And love.

And be free once again to dream my dreams.